I have been reflecting through prayer about the words God gave me for 2025. Not only how they played a role in my life throughout the year, but also how God used them to teach me. Last year my words were joy and beauty. At the beginning of the year I had in my mind how I thought they would play out, but of course it didn't go how I anticipated. Honestly, instead of using them more, God took the year to define them for me. There was a lot stripped away so I can truly understand what joy and beauty mean.
I will begin with beauty. I realized for me the beauty is important to a peaceful environment and a calm place to be quiet enough to hear from the Lord. The best analogy I have is that when I am surrounded by a lot of things/disorganization/clutter my mind has a more difficult time calming and quieting. So I have begun a slow journey to reduce the clutter and create spaces which are beautiful. Spaces which enocurage creativity, and bring joy. It was also realizing how much beauty is in the world around us in things both big and small. My time outside in the mornings watching the birds and enjoying the quiet have truly given me a greater appreciation for God's beauty which he engrained into our world. This time allows me to gain confidence in God because I jumpstart each morning seeing the evidence of Him in His creation.
Defining joy was a more ardurous journey. So coming off of 2024 in which my word was peace, I knew that joy would be my word of 2025. Yet the journey God took me on, was one I didn't see coming. He stripped everything I was attempting to put my joy in away. Part of this stripping involved me learning some hard lessons about being careful with my words, and losing things was a consequence. Yet God used those situations to show me how my priorities were misaligned. I had friendships, community groups, and Bible studies stripped away. Yes, I said Bible studies. Some of of the ones I was partaking in were robbing me of the joy in pursuing a relationship with the Lord. They felt like homework assignments I was obligated to complete, which was sucking the joy out of the Bible. In fact, I was struggling to approach the Bible at all. Once these were stripped from me, I began again longing to be with the Lord in His Word and to dive deep into the Bible so I can become closer to Him.
The joy in my calling of being a wife and mother was also missing. I realized this was because I felt inadequate in those areas, as though I wanted God to choose someone else because clearly I was not good enough. Yet, He chose me to be a wife and mother, as well as a homeschooler so He has equipped me to do so. I was relying on my own strength instead of His which is why I was struggling. He showed me that while I had a surface level understanding of my joy coming from the Lord, I did not truly see what joy was. He has given me a deeper understanding of the joy which does come from Him, and Him alone. As I have surrendered my homeschool to Him this year, my joy for homeschooling is coming back, because it stems from trusting Him.
It was an interesting year full of challenges, but through it all I had the peace He had instilled in me in 2024. It's interesting going through so much and yet feeling so much peace. Reflecting on the past year I have realized what it means to have relationships and priorities in the right order to honor and glorify God. There is no greater joy than knowing He is my rock and my salvation, and obeying what He asks me to do. It's not easy but it allows me to show up as He wants me to, not as I desire to. From experience His ways are always greater than mine, so I am so thankful for the correction and the way He moves in my life. I have no desire to go back to who I was, because even the hardest day with Him is more peaceful and joyful than the best day without Him.
Joy
Beauty
No comments:
Post a Comment